Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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