OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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