I love black thongs
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
