what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
