put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
