My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
