Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
