I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
