Little spoons don't ask big questions
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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