It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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