i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
