Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
