pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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