Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
