just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
operation have a gay friend backfired
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
