it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
