No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
