ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
