Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
