i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I still have a little drunk in my system
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
