help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
