Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
