then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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