He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
