she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
