you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
you had me at cake vodka
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
