He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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