so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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