Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
