I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
