I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
They took my balls.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
