if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He better not be in your backpack
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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