weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
