This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
