Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
please come you make the beer taste better
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
