He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize