I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
