Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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