i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
