this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
