windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
