plz talk dirty to me
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
