Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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