Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
