so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
