dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
