i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i think i have two assholes
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
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