ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
