But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
