I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
