Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
