Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize