Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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