so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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