so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
