Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
