i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
