I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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