Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
