do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
