I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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