he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
