Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
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