Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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